What happened when I procrastinated on a conversation about procrastination.
Sometimes, you just have to laugh at yourself. Last Friday was one of those days for me.
I had scheduled the whole day to practise for a retreat that I was facilitating on Saturday. As a person with strong Avoider and Restless saboteurs, I was prepared for lots of attempts by my saboteurs to undermine the plan.
One approach I find very helpful is to breakdown a big piece of work into short tasks. My saboteurs are less likely to be triggered by many short tasks than one big task. So, I planned my work in chunks of time—nothing longer than 30 minutes—with breaks in between.
I also made sure to have a long PQ session early in the morning to stimulate the sage part of my brain where creativity and focus live.
All good, I thought.
Around 2:00 pm, I was making some notes on a mastermind conversation about procrastination that had just ended when it hit me; I had just used a conversation about procrastination to procrastinate!
Holy moly, those saboteurs are sneaky!
In the end, it all turned out fine. I had anticipated that my saboteurs would try to undermine what I wanted and, by imagining how my particular saboteurs might behave, I had been able to organize my day to counter the most likely ways they would interfere.
And, most importantly, when I realized that I was procrastinating, I didn’t judge. I celebrated myself for catching my saboteurs, lovingly reminded them and me that the saboteurs’ original intent was to keep me safe during a sometimes difficult childhood, and then went back to my original plan for the day.
I call that a win and more reason to celebrate!
Procrastination isn’t a character flaw
Our understanding about procrastination has evolved a lot in the last few years. Procrastination used to be seen as evidence of a lack of willpower, of a character flaw. The act of procrastination was bad and worse, you were a weak person for having procrastinated. Cue the shame and guilt most of us felt when procrastination led to problems.
More recent research turns that idea on its head. In a widely cited 2013 study, psychologists Fuschia Sirois and Tim Pychyl found that procrastination functions primarily as short-term mood regulation, not a failure of willpower: we delay tasks to escape the uncomfortable feelings those tasks stir up, even knowing the delay will cost us later.
Procrastination, this perspective says, is a solution to a problem; a problem that you don’t want to experience. Let’s say you know you have a challenging report to write and it’s due in two weeks. By ignoring the upcoming deadline, you can also ignore any underlying feelings that are connected to writing the report. Feelings, like inadequacy because you are worried you aren’t smart enough or fear that you will make a critical mistake, are the actual problem you avoided while you ostensibly avoid the report. Procrastination is a way of numbing or delaying uncomfortable feelings, but long-term, it’s not a great strategy.
This is where procrastination and self-sabotage overlap. Both are protective strategies your brain reaches for to avoid discomfort, not evidence that something is wrong with you.
The real cost of procrastination
In his new book, Procrastination Proof: Never Get Stuck Again, Jon Acuff says that the real cost of procrastination is that we put off those projects that both scare us and fulfill us. Learning the skill, writing the book, or accepting the new role; all get postponed indefinitely to our detriment.
He offers a better option: give yourself permission to dream, plan, do, and review.
As adults, we need to see how we deny ourselves permission to live the way we want. By framing procrastination as withholding permission, we also deny ourselves the opportunity to be creative, resourceful and productive. Giving ourselves permission to dream about what we want, followed by space to plan and take action on that dream helps to break the habit of procrastination. Building in a pause to review results, whether one day, one month or one year in, safeguards against too much discomfort.
Ultimately, desire to achieve the dream you’ve imagined provides the motivation you need to bypass procrastination.