Lucy White Coaching

Transform Restless to Relaxed in Five Steps

Transform Restless to Relaxed in Five Steps

by | Mar 1, 2023 | Coaching, Group Coaching, Life Coaching, Mental Fitness, Positive Intelligence, positive mindset, Saboteurs, Sage Powers, Team Coaching

I have a foolproof way to know when spring is coming. No, I don’t rely on Groundhog Day or Easter chocolates appearing on store shelves.

It’s the first day that someone in British Columbia posts a photo of daffodils. The collective moaning and kvetching from the rest of Canada is deafening. Everyone else feels grumpy as heck that we’re still up to our knees in snow.

I’m as anxious as anyone for spring to arrive. By early March, I’m feeling intense spring fever. I’m restless for primroses and tulips to appear in gardens, for eliminating a layer or two of clothing, and for a green vegetable that is not frozen peas. I’m ready for the fresh energy that spring heralds.

That spring restlessness that many of us feel can be a good thing; a sign that we are ready to leave winter hibernation behind us. Or it can be saboteur energy that distracts us from what is important, hampers our productivity, and prevents us from working on our priorities. That kind of energy is exhausting not energizing.I’ve noticed that whenever I have an upcoming writing deadline, the Restless Saboteur pulls my focus away from the concentration needed for writing. I’ll suddenly be cleaning my home, cooking elaborate meals, and tidying my workspace.Unchecked, Restless Saboteurs can be the cause of a busy yet unproductive day. The Restless Saboteur will have us multi-tasking and looking for quick hits of dopamine. People with Restless habits can be impatient and will avoid unpleasant feelings or situations by switching focus constantly. They might be driven by a feeling that life is too short and that without constant movement they’ll miss out. FOMO may well have been coined by someone experiencing a Restless Saboteur.

When you suspect you are in Restless mode, try these five steps to transform restless to relaxed:

  1. Notice what kind of energy you are bringing to the busyness. Is it scattered or focused? Nervous or calm?
  2. Whatever you are doing, bring as much focus as you can to the task. If you are dusting, notice the tiny particles of dust as they lay still or move in the air. If you are exercising, notice the pace of your breathing, the feel of a specific muscle as you move. Do some PQ Reps on touch, hearing, or breath.
  3. From this place of attention, ask yourself if this activity is a priority for your day or a distraction? If a distraction, notice any feelings that come up when you think about the priority.
  4. Now bring your focus to that priority activity. Imagine yourself doing that activity in great detail. Imagine how you want to feel as you are doing the task—capable, happy, focused? Next imagine how you want to feel when you complete the task—proud, calm, reliable?
  5. When you are ready, move to your priority activity. If it is a big task, break it down to small parts and tackle one at a time. Repeat the above steps as needed until you are acting from a place of relaxed focus.

Thanks to consistent Mental Fitness practices, I’m gradually gaining self-command over Restlessness. After a short session of PQ Reps, I’m able to transform the high energy and creativity that underlies Restless behaviours into focused action on my work.

The Mental Fitness system gives my clients the tools to transform their insights into new habits and their restlessness into productive relaxed action.

Is Mental Fitness for you? It was for this nonprofit leader!

by | Jul 12, 2022 | Coaching, Group Coaching, Life Coaching, Mental Fitness, Positive Intelligence, positive mindset, Saboteurs, Sage Powers, Team Coaching

Is Mental Fitness for you? It was for Joyce!

 My client Joyce* has worked in the nonprofit sector for the last 15 years. She didn’t intend to end up in nonprofit work. Her immigrant parents worked hard so that Joyce had the best education possible and at their urging, Joyce earned several degrees including an MBA.  Joyce soon realized business was not her calling and she chose nonprofit work as a refuge from her unfulfilling job.
 
When she came to me for coaching, Joyce was beginning to realize she’d spent her whole life pleasing her parents, partners, and employers. She had great fear that, at 50, she didn’t love her nonprofit work anymore and that she was running out of time to figure out what she wanted in life. She felt lost and directionless.
 
After my Mental Fitness program and individual coaching, Joyce understands how her inner Pleaser sabotaged her by putting her needs second to the needs of others. She has more clarity about what she loves and doesn’t love about her work. She is calling on her inner sage powers to Explore and Innovate so she is more productive and work is more rewarding. And she has set herself some goals to explore what makes her happy outside work starting with more time in nature.
 
Does any of Joyce’s story ring a bell with you? Have you been thinking that it’s time to make some changes in your life but feel overwhelmed, directionless, or stuck? If so, my mental fitness program could be exactly what you’re looking for.

My next Mental Fitness program is coming in September!
In the program you’ll learn:

  • how to be calmer and happier in 15 minutes a day
  • new tools to shift from a negative to a positive mindset
  • how to take action to achieve your life goals

I’m making a few improvements to the program to make sure participants get even more value. You can expect a greater impact on your productivity, stress levels and overall happiness.  

Places are limited to 12 participants so that each participant receives individual coaching as well as the group experience. Contact me to reserve your place now.

Mental Fitness for your team
Are you a non-profit leader? I’d love to speak with you about bringing Mental Fitness to your team. I can tailor my Mental Fitness program especially for your team at an affordable price. Please contact me to discuss your team’s needs.
 
*I’ve changed details such as name and occupation, but “Joyce” is a real person!

Self-actualization or why (and how) I’m taking the summer off

by | Jul 6, 2022 | Coaching, Group Coaching, Life Coaching, Mental Fitness, Positive Intelligence, positive mindset, Saboteurs, Sage Powers, Team Coaching

a happy jack russell dog on a summer road trip

Jack russell dog in sunglasses looking out car window in summer. Road trip

In search of my ideal self
 
I have played many roles in my life–daughter, sister, wife, mother, nonprofit leader, volunteer, friend, consultant. Children play dress up and teens often try on multiple identities as part of figuring out who they are. As adults, we can forget that we still have the ability to put on, try out, or discard roles just as we did when younger. Anyone who has quit a job or gotten divorced knows how true this is. Suddenly, one role is gone and there is a myriad of options before you.
 
Self-actualization is the drive to be our ideal self and realize our full potential. Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs puts self-actualization at the pinnacle of human needs. We’re meant to understand that the most important part you can play in your own life is to find and be the person you were meant to be. But this isn’t a one-and-done effort. Who we are now and the roles we are playing aren’t necessarily who we will be in six months or six years. I’m keenly aware that to find this ideal self, it helps to bring a level of intention to the search.

Taking the summer off

And what has that got to do with taking the summer off, Lucy?
 
It has to do with self-actualization–exploring how I want to move into the next stage of my life and what that new part might be. It has to do with giving myself time to pause and reflect rather than rushing headlong into the future, doing the same things as always. And, it has to do with fun and adventure, two values that I don’t honour enough.
 
I’m glad to have had some great coaching this year. My coach has supported my big idea of having the summer off and has held me accountable for taking the necessary steps to achieve this goal. For one thing, you won’t find me on social media. I’m taking a break from posting for the next six weeks (except vacation photos, naturally!)

I’ve had to say “no, thank you” to a few opportunities (a really hard thing to do when you’re self-employed!) so that I could say “yes” to time off. I’m grateful to be making the time and space for reflection and play. And, I’m anticipating a rested and relaxed me, full of energy and ideas for the my next role.
 
I’m curious about where you are in your life right now. Are you noticing that you are leaving behind one or more of your life roles? How are you experiencing the change? What are you doing to find and welcome your ideal self? Or have you found “you”? I’d love to hear from you!

Yes, People Do Change. You Can Too!

by | Apr 19, 2022 | Coaching, Group Coaching, Life Coaching, Mental Fitness, Positive Intelligence, positive mindset, Saboteurs, Sage Powers, Team Coaching

Yes, People Do Change. You Can Too!

One of the expressions I heard while growing up was “leopards don’t change their spots.” While that’s literally true of leopards, we kids were supposed to understand this to mean that people don’t change. The bullies would stay bullies forever. The kid who stole my new boots from the cloakroom (go-go boots! true story!) would be a thief all their life.

I’m sure the lesson was given to us with the intention of protecting us from further heartache. Now that I’m an adult, I see that this lesson is deeply flawed. People do change. If they want to.

Recent research into how our brains work show that we think in patterns. Some of these patterns were set down by our distant ancestors to keep us safe.  It was an evolutionary advantage to be alert to the dangers around us. Sometimes a stick on the path, was a dangerous snake. Some red berries were safe but others poisonous; you needed to know the difference to survive. That level of high alert to danger or attention to detail is still useful but not as a constant state of being. Yet our brains are still wired that way, to think negatively first (danger, run!)

Happily, we can rewire our brains to think more positively. Our neural pathways are “plastic“ and with time and practice we can retrain our brains to think positively first.

During coaching, I witness my clients make major changes. Stuck clients get unblocked. Aimless clients become focused. Stressed and unhappy clients find rest and contentment.

Using the tools and processes of Mental Fitness, my coaching clients learn how they have self-sabotaged. This realization begins the process of rewiring their brains so that they have access to their natural empathy, curiosity, and to clearheaded open-hearted action. They are excited to see the immediate impact of Mental Fitness on their mindset and the improvement in their sense of well-being, of optimism and on their productivity.

Yes, people can and do change. Is now the time you’ll take that leap?