Do You Want More or Less in 2026?

Do You Want More or Less in 2026?

I’ve never found myself excited to write new year resolutions. This year I decided to give it a miss until I found Gretchen Rubin’s 26 for 2026.

The idea is to list twenty-six things you’d like to do by the end of the year. Her approach is to keep the exercise light. These items can be easy or ambitious, one-off or long-term projects. On her own list she includes walk faster!

I started my list enthusiastically but ran out of steam at nine items. Nine?!

Obviously, I needed to think differently about this practice; to stimulate my creativity, not just trigger my Avoider and Hyper-Rational saboteurs into creating yet another to-do list.

The Cost of Saying Yes

As nonprofit leaders, we’re often so focused on adding things to our plates that we ignore how that’s depleting us.

We adjust to the committee that hasn’t achieved anything meaningful in two years. The volunteer obligation that made sense five years ago but doesn’t serve your current goals. The task you took on because it was just easier to do it yourself than to train another junior employee.

These energy drains don’t disappear on their own. And they don’t magically become less exhausting when we add more on top of them.

As someone recovering from and studying burnout, I soon realized that every yes to a new item on my 26 for 2026 was in danger of draining not energizing me.

Michael Bungay Stanier, a playful guy and author of The Coaching Habit, came to the rescue with two questions for 2026.

What do you want more of this year?

And what do you want less of?

Michael’s questions allowed me to catch hold of some of the ideas that had been darting around in the back of my mind like goldfish in a dark pond.

They helped me see that before I could commit to anything new, I needed to get honest about what was draining my energy. And that means saying no to those drainers wherever I can.

Creating Space for What You Want

This is where my “more or less” list finally came together.

In 2026, I want less indecision and procrastination, less “futzing about” (as my mother would say), less self-criticism and self-sabotage. These all drain my energy without contributing to my goals.

And, that creates space for what I want more of: more momentum, more real-life connection and collaboration, more fun and play, and more intentional rest.

Your Turn

What would it look like to protect your energy this year?

What draining commitments, relationships, or habits need to go so you have space for what you truly want? What would become possible if you removed just one or two significant energy drains?

How I Can Support You in 2026

If you’re ready to stop tolerating what drains you and start creating space for what energizes you, I have three ways to work with me in 2026:

Mental Fitness Group Programs for Nonprofit Leaders — Join other nonprofit executives in a 7-week coaching program where you’ll learn to recognize and intercept the saboteurs that keep you stressed and build the mental fitness to honour your boundaries and take action on your priorities. The next program begins March 2.

Mental Fitness plus 1:1 Executive Coaching — Combine the group program with individual executive coaching sessions where we’ll apply these tools specifically to your nonprofit leadership challenges and goals.

Mental Fitness plus 1:1 Executive Coaching and VIP Day — Get the complete package including a VIP day where we’ll dive deep into your specific situation, create your strategic plan, and build your roadmap for the year ahead.

Reply to this email or book a call to explore which option is right for you.

P.S. Although I’ve added to my 26 for 2026 list, it still isn’t finished—and I’ve decided that’s perfectly fine. Some spaces are meant to stay open until inspiration strikes.

How to Build Strong Connections in Four Steps

How to Build Strong Connections in Four Steps

Sitting at brunch, I was stunned to hear my friend tell me exactly what kind of friend and colleague she thought I was–a terrible one. “You missed my 40th birthday party,” she said. “You haven’t been there for me at all; not at home and not at work. I don’t even know why I bother with this friendship anymore.”

I was completely blindsided. Yes, I had missed her party. In fact, I’d missed a lot of things. I was in the middle of a divorce and barely managing to keep myself together. I hadn’t even let her know I wouldn’t be coming.

But Amy didn’t ask about any of that. And I didn’t explain.

When Saboteurs Collide

Looking back through the lens of Mental Fitness, I can see exactly what happened. Amy’s Victim saboteur had completely taken over. The Victim saboteur causes us to focus solely on our internal feelings, particularly painful ones. Her disappointment about her birthday had evolved into a story where I was a bad, selfish friend who didn’t care about her.

Meanwhile, my Avoider saboteur kicked into high gear. Rather than calmly explaining what I was going through or trying to empathize with her feelings of being neglected, I simply walked away from the friendship and let our work connection cool. The Avoider’s desire to avoid any kind of difficult conversation meant I let our friendship end rather than doing the difficult work to build a strong connection.

The Cost of Saboteur Interference

When our saboteurs drive our relationships, we miss opportunities for the strong connections we crave. Amy’s Victim saboteur prevented her from extending empathy or curiosity about my situation. My Avoider saboteur robbed us of the opportunity to work through our conflict and strengthen our friendship.

Amy had created a story that my absence meant I didn’t value our connection. I had created a story that her anger was too threatening to deal with.

Working with Empathy, Curiosity, and Discernment

I wonder now what might have happened if we had approached this conflict with empathy, curiosity and discernment rather than judgement?

Empathy would have helped Amy consider that things might be happening in my life that could explain my absence. It would have helped me consider how important that milestone birthday was to her and understand how deeply she felt my absence.

Curiosity would have led to mutual questions instead of accusations. “I missed you at my party. Is everything okay?” instead of “You’re a terrible friend.” Or from my side: “I’m sorry for missing your party. You sound really hurt and angry. Is that what you’re feeling?”

Discernment would have guided us to a deeper understanding of whether our responses aligned with our values and whether the friendship was mutually valuable.

What Science Tells Us About Connection

When we operate from empathy and curiosity rather than saboteur messages, we create what researchers call “psychological safety”—the sense that we can be vulnerable, make mistakes, and still be accepted. This is the foundation of fulfilling relationships.

Practical Steps to Build Strong Connections

Notice Your Saboteurs: When you feel triggered in a relationship, pause and ask: “Is a saboteur activated right now?” Are you creating negative stories about the other person’s intentions?

Use the “WIN” Question: When relationship conflicts arise, ask yourself “What’s Important Now?” Often, the answer isn’t being right–it’s preserving or deepening the connection.

Practice Empathy: Before deciding what someone’s behavior means, get curious about what might be driving it. What might they be experiencing that you don’t see?

Be Discerning: Sometimes ending relationships is the healthiest discerning choice; sometimes our saboteurs push us into judgement and behaviours that weaken rather than strengthen relationships that we value.

Sadly, Amy and I never did reconnect. But from that experience, I have worked to intercept my saboteurs and navigate my relationships from a place of self-compassion, empathy for my friends, and mutual curiosity.

Relationships at work, in our families, and with our friends will always come with challenges. How we choose to meet those challenges determines whether those challenges lead to the deeper connections we all desire.

Ready to Transform Your Relationships?

If you find your work and personal relationships challenging, if you want to improve them and create more fulfilling connections, and you’re curious about how Mental Fitness can help, I invite you to join the upcoming Calm Confident Nonprofit Leader course beginning September 8.

This comprehensive group program will give you the tools to recognize your saboteurs in real time, strengthen your inner powers including empathy and curiosity, and build the kind of stronger connections that energize rather than drain you–both personally and professionally.

With limited places available to ensure individual support and attention, early bird pricing is available until August 8.

Register here!

Don’t let another important relationship end because of saboteur thinking. Use these four steps to build strong connections.

Discover the Power of the Present Moment: Overcoming Stress with Mental Fitness

Discover the Power of the Present Moment: Overcoming Stress with Mental Fitness

I’m writing this while sitting on the deck at my family cottage. I’d be writing on the dock but our original dock has finally given up and we’re in the middle of getting a fancy new one.

The old dock has been with us since the early days when my siblings and I would stay in the lake until our lips were blue with cold. And, that thud, thud, thud, of our feet running to the end for a flying leap, is a big part of my memory of those times.

I know the new dock will not sway dangerously if you walk too close to the side or suddenly give way underfoot. But what sound will the new dock make under running feet?

I have to admit that I’ve been dreading this newsletter quite a bit. Not the writing, but the recognition that it is mid-August. The abundance of tomatoes, beans, corn, peaches, and basil at the local farmstand, the nightly cricket song, and the cooler nights are reminders to savour the summer while we can.

The ability to savour the present moment requires intentional attention to our positive senses, feelings, thoughts and actions. When we are overwhelmed, stressed or burnt-out, emotional and physical exhaustion can make it impossible to be present with and enjoy our positive experiences.

If you recognize that stress or burn-out are preventing you from enjoying your life, there are things you can do now that will help:

  • See your doctor to make sure there is no physical illnesses at play.
  • Get more sleep. Everyone needs at least 7 hours of sleep each night.

  • Move your body. Walk around the block or have a solo dance party.

  • Adopt a mindfulness practice like sitting, walking, yoga, or following your breath.

Mental Fitness participants report that the increase in their emotional regulation has helped them to recognize what causes them stress and what to do to reduce it.

They understand how to weaken negative self-talk and strengthen their powers of empathy, curiosity and to take action when needed. They increase their emotional intelligence, self-awareness, and presence.

As a result, they are happier in their careers and relationships, and have a greater sense of purpose and direction.

Registration opens soon for Mental Fitness for Nonprofit Leaders (September 26-November 28.) Places are limited so if you’re interested, click here to save your place.


If you are curious about the benefits of Mental Fitness or how it works, I’d love to you reach out. Book some time on my calendar or send me a note.

Why conditional happiness holds you back from real fulfilment

Did you know that we are at choice about how happy and fulfilled we are?

Yes, truly! We are at choice about how happy we are.

Let me show you what I mean.

Any of these statements sound like you?

  • I’ll be happy when I get that promotion.
  • I’ll be happy when we meet our fundraising target.
  • I’ll be happy when I can afford to take a special vacation.

Were you happier when you got what you wanted? Probably not.

I used to think that I was just one of those people who wasn’t very happy. By any measure, I had lots of the things (good job, car, house) that should make me happy but happiness just didn’t seem to stick. Why was that?

The above statements are examples of conditional happiness—happiness that is contingent on achieving an external goal. Research shows that, on average, conditional happiness is brief and fades over time. Meaning that to recapture conditional happiness, you need to set yourself another achievement, and another. It’s just not sustainable—it’s exhausting and stressful.

So, why isn’t conditional happiness sustainable? It’s because every person has a baseline level of happiness. Achieving conditional happiness will shift your baseline level of happiness temporarily but inevitably it returns to your set level.

As a nonprofit leader, your organization and all its stakeholders rely on you to manage your emotions. If you are constantly seeking happiness, fulfillment, and gratification through external conditions, you’ll bring that state of mind to work. You won’t just set goals, you’ll keep moving the goalposts looking for the next fix of conditional happiness.

But there is a solution.

You can rewire your brain and raise your happiness set level so that you experience happiness more frequently and sustainably.

Let’s take a quick detour and look at the definition of happiness. For my purpose, I’m defining happiness as feeling positive emotions like contentment, gratitude, joy, and compassion. While it is essentially human to experience all types of emotions—pleasant and unpleasant—we don’t need to stay in the unpleasant emotions indefinitely. We can choose to be in command of our emotions.

Research at Positive Intelligence shows that Mental Fitness practice helps to rewire your brain so that pleasant Sage emotions grow stronger and unpleasant emotions generated by our Saboteurs grow weaker.

When we encounter our unpleasant emotions, we are able to experience them AND recover faster so that we don’t get hijacked by anger, sadness, jealousy, or judgement.

We are in command of our emotions and we have quicker access to empathy, curiosity, innovation, and action–all the powers required for skillful and productive leaders. And, you feel sustained pleasant emotions as a result of responding powerfully to life’s challenges.

We are at choice about how happy we are. Mental Fitness provides accessible practices and tools to choose and sustain happiness.


If you are curious about the benefits of Mental Fitness or how it works, I’d love to you reach out; Book some time on my calendar or send me a note.

The ROI of Leadership Coaching: Three Benefits for Employers

The ROI of Leadership Coaching: Three Benefits for Employers

Great employers know the benefits of investing in their people. Increased productivity, high levels of employee engagement and retention, and increased revenues are three benefits frequently noted when thoughtful employee development programs are put in place. 

Leadership coaching is one of the many options organizations have to invest in the development of their people. Before authorizing leadership coaching in their organizations, prudent decision-makers will have many questions about the benefits and costs related to coaching. Before I jump to the ROI of leadership coaching, let’s first clarify what it is and what it isn’t.

 What is Leadership Coaching?

Leadership training is instruction on the competencies that leaders need to succeed. The purpose of leadership coaching is to enhance the skills, knowledge, and abilities of leaders so they can be more effective in leading and managing their teams. Leadership coaching complements training by providing a space for individuals to explore their personal leadership style, learn to regulate emotional responses, and uncover the recurring patterns and limiting beliefs that block or limit professional success.

Organizations that offer coaching and have built coaching cultures say their top reasons to make coaching a key part of their leadership development strategy are:

  • Improved communication skills
  • Improved teamwork
  • Improved decision making
  • Increased productivity
  • Increased employee engagement

While leadership coaching is often perceived as expensive, the return on investment (ROI) can be significant. A Price Waterhouse Cooper’s survey reported that the average ROI return for companies that invested in coaching was seven times their initial investment and more than 25% of survey respondents reported ROI of 10 to 49 times the initial investment. These are impressive numbers. Let’s look at three ways that the ROI of leadership coaching can be assessed.

  1. Improved Performance

One way to evaluate the ROI of leadership coaching is by measuring the improvement in performance of leaders and their teams. 

The International Coaching Federation (ICF) found that 70% of individuals who received leadership coaching reported improved work performance, while 86% of companies reported recouping their investment in coaching through improved productivity and profitability.

Coaching helps leaders develop emotional intelligence (EQ) and self-knowledge needed to lead their teams effectively. Leaders with high EQ are better able to motivate and manage their teams to higher levels of performance. Communications improve and team conflict may be reduced.

  1. Employee Recruitment and Retention

Another way to evaluate the ROI of leadership coaching is by measuring the impact of coaching on employee recruitment and retention. Organizations that offer coaching demonstrate to current employees and candidates that they are committed to the ongoing training and development of their staff. This improves retention of top and high potential employees and helps to attract the best qualified candidates. 

For example, stress is cited as a key driver of poor performance and employee absenteeism. Positive Intelligence Inc., where I received my coaching credentials, reported that 100% of employees of a US-based health and wellness company managed their stress better after completing a coaching program. 

Research conducted by the ICF found that organizations that provided coaching to their employees had a 21% higher retention rate than those that did not provide coaching. The study also found that coaching was the second most effective tool for retaining employees, behind only salary increases. A study conducted by the Harvard Business Review found that replacing an employee can cost an organization 6-9 months’ salary on average. Reducing turnover leads to significant cost savings.

Coaching can help leaders develop the skills needed to create a positive work environment, which can lead to higher levels of employee engagement and satisfaction. As a result, employees may be more likely to stay with the organization, reducing turnover costs while the organization increases its ability to attract the best candidates.

  1. Increased Revenue

Coaching can also lead to increased revenue for organizations. By improving the performance of leaders and their teams, organizations are able to increase their productivity, efficiency, and profitability. Additionally, coaching can help leaders identify new opportunities for growth and development, leading to increased revenue streams.

For example, a study conducted by the ICF found that coaching led to an average revenue increase of 46% for organizations. The study also found that coaching was the second most effective tool for increasing revenue, behind only strategic planning.

Conclusion

The ROI of leadership coaching can be sizable. Organizations that implement leadership coaching can expect to see benefits such as improved performance, increased employee retention, and increased revenues. While the upfront cost of coaching may be significant, evaluation of the long-term benefits should outweigh the costs, making it a worthwhile investment in an organization’s leadership development. 

If you are curious about how leadership coaching could benefit you or your organization, contact me to explore the value of leadership coaching with you.

Originally published in The Osborne Group Insights Blog

Do you keep your promises to yourself? Two ideas to make it easier.

Do you keep your promises to yourself? Two ideas to make it easier.

Isn’t this spring crazy busy? I see you and how many conferences, grant applications, launches and openings you’ve got going on. I hope you’re taking time to stop and smell the hyacinths!

In March, I was busy getting ready for the next cohort of Mental Fitness for Nonprofit Leaders.  I did a happy dance on April 1 as the new program got underway. I’m so proud of every person who commits to learning how to overcome stress, negativity, or overwhelm so they can live the unique life they crave for themselves.

Speaking of commitments, I recently made a commitment to myself to up my writing game by sending twice monthly newsletters. Writing can trigger all kinds of saboteur voices trying to hold me back. On the other hand, I really don’t like the disappointment I feel when I let a saboteur voice distract me from emailing you!

Another thing I don’t like? Strawberries in salad. What a waste of a good strawberry. I’m working on improving my health with more veggies and exercise but a person has to draw a line somewhere. But that’s enough negativity about those misguided salads.

Let me share something I do like:  I like keeping my promises to myself!

I like remembering to prep the week’s meals on Sunday, to write thank you notes, and pay my bills on time. In the past, strong Avoider and Restless saboteurs could divert my attention or prevent me from even getting started.

I find that regular PQ Reps* through the day help keep me focused on the important things and stacking my habits means I don’t have to make constant fatiguing decisions.** I now do a few PQ Reps when I first wake up and whenever I plug in the kettle. I’ve recently stacked getting a latte on Saturday morning with going to the gym. No gym, no coffee!

Do you find it hard to stick to the promises that you make to yourself?

What tricks or tips do you have to keep you focussed on your commitments?

*Curious about PQ Reps? Here is a short video of me demonstrating a PQ Rep.

** Decision fatigue is a real thing! Read about decision fatigue here.