Lucy White Coaching

Is Mental Fitness for you? It was for this nonprofit leader!

by | Jul 12, 2022 | Coaching, Group Coaching, Life Coaching, Mental Fitness, Positive Intelligence, positive mindset, Saboteurs, Sage Powers, Team Coaching

Is Mental Fitness for you? It was for Joyce!

 My client Joyce* has worked in the nonprofit sector for the last 15 years. She didn’t intend to end up in nonprofit work. Her immigrant parents worked hard so that Joyce had the best education possible and at their urging, Joyce earned several degrees including an MBA.  Joyce soon realized business was not her calling and she chose nonprofit work as a refuge from her unfulfilling job.
 
When she came to me for coaching, Joyce was beginning to realize she’d spent her whole life pleasing her parents, partners, and employers. She had great fear that, at 50, she didn’t love her nonprofit work anymore and that she was running out of time to figure out what she wanted in life. She felt lost and directionless.
 
After my Mental Fitness program and individual coaching, Joyce understands how her inner Pleaser sabotaged her by putting her needs second to the needs of others. She has more clarity about what she loves and doesn’t love about her work. She is calling on her inner sage powers to Explore and Innovate so she is more productive and work is more rewarding. And she has set herself some goals to explore what makes her happy outside work starting with more time in nature.
 
Does any of Joyce’s story ring a bell with you? Have you been thinking that it’s time to make some changes in your life but feel overwhelmed, directionless, or stuck? If so, my mental fitness program could be exactly what you’re looking for.

My next Mental Fitness program is coming in September!
In the program you’ll learn:

  • how to be calmer and happier in 15 minutes a day
  • new tools to shift from a negative to a positive mindset
  • how to take action to achieve your life goals

I’m making a few improvements to the program to make sure participants get even more value. You can expect a greater impact on your productivity, stress levels and overall happiness.  

Places are limited to 12 participants so that each participant receives individual coaching as well as the group experience. Contact me to reserve your place now.

Mental Fitness for your team
Are you a non-profit leader? I’d love to speak with you about bringing Mental Fitness to your team. I can tailor my Mental Fitness program especially for your team at an affordable price. Please contact me to discuss your team’s needs.
 
*I’ve changed details such as name and occupation, but “Joyce” is a real person!

Self-actualization or why (and how) I’m taking the summer off

by | Jul 6, 2022 | Coaching, Group Coaching, Life Coaching, Mental Fitness, Positive Intelligence, positive mindset, Saboteurs, Sage Powers, Team Coaching

a happy jack russell dog on a summer road trip

Jack russell dog in sunglasses looking out car window in summer. Road trip

In search of my ideal self
 
I have played many roles in my life–daughter, sister, wife, mother, nonprofit leader, volunteer, friend, consultant. Children play dress up and teens often try on multiple identities as part of figuring out who they are. As adults, we can forget that we still have the ability to put on, try out, or discard roles just as we did when younger. Anyone who has quit a job or gotten divorced knows how true this is. Suddenly, one role is gone and there is a myriad of options before you.
 
Self-actualization is the drive to be our ideal self and realize our full potential. Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs puts self-actualization at the pinnacle of human needs. We’re meant to understand that the most important part you can play in your own life is to find and be the person you were meant to be. But this isn’t a one-and-done effort. Who we are now and the roles we are playing aren’t necessarily who we will be in six months or six years. I’m keenly aware that to find this ideal self, it helps to bring a level of intention to the search.

Taking the summer off

And what has that got to do with taking the summer off, Lucy?
 
It has to do with self-actualization–exploring how I want to move into the next stage of my life and what that new part might be. It has to do with giving myself time to pause and reflect rather than rushing headlong into the future, doing the same things as always. And, it has to do with fun and adventure, two values that I don’t honour enough.
 
I’m glad to have had some great coaching this year. My coach has supported my big idea of having the summer off and has held me accountable for taking the necessary steps to achieve this goal. For one thing, you won’t find me on social media. I’m taking a break from posting for the next six weeks (except vacation photos, naturally!)

I’ve had to say “no, thank you” to a few opportunities (a really hard thing to do when you’re self-employed!) so that I could say “yes” to time off. I’m grateful to be making the time and space for reflection and play. And, I’m anticipating a rested and relaxed me, full of energy and ideas for the my next role.
 
I’m curious about where you are in your life right now. Are you noticing that you are leaving behind one or more of your life roles? How are you experiencing the change? What are you doing to find and welcome your ideal self? Or have you found “you”? I’d love to hear from you!

Yes, People Do Change. You Can Too!

by | Apr 19, 2022 | Coaching, Group Coaching, Life Coaching, Mental Fitness, Positive Intelligence, positive mindset, Saboteurs, Sage Powers, Team Coaching

Yes, People Do Change. You Can Too!

One of the expressions I heard while growing up was “leopards don’t change their spots.” While that’s literally true of leopards, we kids were supposed to understand this to mean that people don’t change. The bullies would stay bullies forever. The kid who stole my new boots from the cloakroom (go-go boots! true story!) would be a thief all their life.

I’m sure the lesson was given to us with the intention of protecting us from further heartache. Now that I’m an adult, I see that this lesson is deeply flawed. People do change. If they want to.

Recent research into how our brains work show that we think in patterns. Some of these patterns were set down by our distant ancestors to keep us safe.  It was an evolutionary advantage to be alert to the dangers around us. Sometimes a stick on the path, was a dangerous snake. Some red berries were safe but others poisonous; you needed to know the difference to survive. That level of high alert to danger or attention to detail is still useful but not as a constant state of being. Yet our brains are still wired that way, to think negatively first (danger, run!)

Happily, we can rewire our brains to think more positively. Our neural pathways are “plastic“ and with time and practice we can retrain our brains to think positively first.

During coaching, I witness my clients make major changes. Stuck clients get unblocked. Aimless clients become focused. Stressed and unhappy clients find rest and contentment.

Using the tools and processes of Mental Fitness, my coaching clients learn how they have self-sabotaged. This realization begins the process of rewiring their brains so that they have access to their natural empathy, curiosity, and to clearheaded open-hearted action. They are excited to see the immediate impact of Mental Fitness on their mindset and the improvement in their sense of well-being, of optimism and on their productivity.

Yes, people can and do change. Is now the time you’ll take that leap?

Push Versus Pull

by | Feb 14, 2022 | Coaching, Life Coaching, Mental Fitness, Positive Intelligence, Saboteurs, Sage Powers

“Push versus pull” has been on my mind lately because I’ve had writer’s block–a problem that I have had often in the past.

Looking for a solution, last fall I signed up for a writing class. The class had really helped me free up my creativity. I had been writing with greater ease.

But somewhere over the holidays, I let my saboteurs get the upper hand. No amount of scheduling, time blocking or to-do-lists, all left brain solutions, were helping. Then, while meditating, I had the realization that the problem was that I was trying to push myself into writing. Instead, I needed to find the reason that would pull me gently back to it.

Let me explain the “push versus pull.“

Saboteurs, our inner negative voices, work by pushing us into action by using anger, stress, fear, and guilt. For example, the Controller saboteur uses feelings of imminent danger, to push us to control ourselves, other people and our environment. A Pleaser saboteur will remind us constantly that if we’re not putting others first then we won’t be loved or appreciated. Any time we put our own needs first will be met with guilt or shame that can push us back to pleasing others first.

These feelings pushing us to action are very unpleasant. My personal experience is that when my Avoider and my Restless saboteurs are at work, I feel anxious, unsettled, and miserable. I might get things done but the experience is one of high stress and unhappiness instead of focus and flow.

Being pulled towards action is a different feeling entirely. When we are pulled, it’s our sage brain that pulls us towards actions, goals, and behaviours that are in alignment with our values. Our right brain capacity for compassion, curiosity, the joy of self-expression, and the like pull us into pleasurable action; action without judgment, stress, or obligation.

If you’re wondering how to know when you’re being pushed rather than pulled and how to make the switch, consider signing up for my new Mental Fitness group starting March 12.

You can think about mental fitness as a kind of spring cleaning for your life. The program

  • If you’re tired of feeling stressed, fearful, sad, or stuck.
  • If you feel that you’ve been hanging on to old patterns, old habits, and old ways of thinking
  • If you know that what you’ve been doing simply doesn’t work for you anymore

This might be the just the right time to start a mental fitness practice and let in some fresh thinking.

Mental fitness is our capacity to meet life’s challenges with calm, clear, focused responses rather than negative emotions. My Mental Fitness Program teaches you how to strengthen your capacity for positive thinking and action so that you can be happier with yourself, with others, and with your circumstances.

In seven weeks, you will:

  • recognize how you self-sabotage
  • learn tools and techniques to overcome self-sabotage
  • strengthen your capacity for empathy, creativity, innovation, and action

Included in the program are:

  • individual and group coaching
  • a mobile app to guide your practice and learning
  • weekly videos
  • peer support opportunities

You will literally rewire your neural pathways into more positive creative and productive ways of thinking. A previous participant called mental fitness a “game changer” for how she lives her life.

Click here to learn more about the program and to enroll.

P.S.  I’m offering accessible pricing for anyone who works in the non-profit and charitable sectors. When you enroll for my program, tell me where you work for the discount.

P.P.S.  Are you thinking about signing up as a group?
There are so many applications for mental fitness at work and in our personal lives. One exciting way to amplify and accelerate the impact of mental fitness in your life is to enroll a group in the program. Team members, family, or other kind of group who take the program together will see profound improvements in the way they relate to each other, work together, and play together.

What Can You Do When You’re Meh?

What Can You Do When You’re Meh?

by | Dec 2, 2021 | Coaching, Life Coaching, Mental Fitness, Positive Intelligence, positive mindset, Saboteurs, Sage Powers

 

The most wonderful time of the year is upon us. And I’ve been feeling meh. Although I’ve had a great year overall, these 18 months have been stressful. Now that the time change has ushered in the November blues, I’m wanting to pull the bedcovers over my head and hibernate until spring.

Or at least that’s what my Victim and Avoider saboteurs are telling me to do. They’re a tag team of negativity!

We all have our own internal saboteurs that give voice to negative thoughts and suggestions. They encourage us to believe in and to prolong our negative emotions.

What can we do instead? Rather than wallow in the negative, the tools of Mental Fitness will help you to create a positive mindset. Here’s what I’m doing:

  • I’ve been allowing myself to skip Mental Fitness’ PQ Reps on the weekends. The result is that Mondays have been slow and unfocused. I’m recommitting to weekend practices to keep my mental muscles activated.
  • One of my personal values is independence. Time for me to look at my financial and career goals for the year and see where it would be most productive to place focused attention and action.
  • I need to innovate a new approach to getting exercise as the old way has stopped working. I’m going to use the 5 minute technique to get moving again.* Bonus motivation: to be fitter for skiing and reduce my face plants this season.
  • I need to fire up my powers of empathy and compassion. The more I focus on others, the happier I am. It’s a paradox and it works.

I want you to have the benefits of Mental Fitness. Mental Fitness will help you to develop greater capacity to respond to life’s challenges with a positive mindset. As one participant said, “The change in my mind and approach over the last six weeks is remarkable.” Imagine being able to isolate your internal negative messages and to set them aside leaving you free to live with less stress, greater productivity and increased happiness.

Who doesn’t want that?

*  The technique is to commit to 5 minutes of any task you are avoiding. You’ll find that you will often continue past the 5 minute mark once you’ve got started.

Is 2022 the year you’ll make a greater commitment to yourself?

I have two spaces for personal coaching in January and February. You can book a free introductory session here: my calendar
I hope you all have a restful and restorative break at new year and that 2022 will be your best year ever.