Lucy White Coaching

I woke up a sweaty mess today.

The air conditioning in my building is broken and now, with the sun barely up, my condo is 28 C. Did I mention I have a south-west facing space? It is only going to get hotter.

My first response was a spurt of judgement. “This happens every spring! Why don’t they test the system before the deadline? Why does this always happen to me?”*

Do you do this, too? Encounter a frustrating molehill of a situation and then make a mountain of judgement and drama out of it?

If you’re thinking “Uh Lucy? You’re right to be upset; it’s going to ruin your day!”

Well, yes. Except staying upset would have only hurt me. Nothing about the circumstance would change.

Here’s what I did instead of fuelling my upset, ruining my entire day, and staying sweaty, too!

Accept or convert

• I took a breath! Connecting with my breath is always step one when I’m feeling judgy. Sometimes it helps to place my hands over my heart or to focus on my feet. In a minute or two, I’m usually ready to take the next step as I’m out of my head and have paused my inner judge.
• I brought curiosity to the circumstance I’m in. I asked myself: “What might I do here? What happens if I accept the situation? What options do I have for converting my circumstances into a gift or opportunity?” All these questions bring calm and creativity.
• And, I explored my options. Accepting meant staying home in an oven, being uncomfortable and likely unproductive. Converting or changing my circumstances led me to explore options like working elsewhere. The library, park, coffee shop or a friend’s place were all possible options. I also thought about taking the day off work. Key to my decision was wanting to meet two deadlines so I opted to work elsewhere.

I saved my own day. Circumstances converted; mountain returned to molehill!

Walking through the accept or convert process frees you from an exhausting and self-defeating fight against reality. From a clear-headed/hearted space, you can respond with creativity instead of reactivity.

Hope this helps. Let me know if you try it!

P.S. Bonus points if you noticed my Victim Saboteur jumping into the dialogue! It’s so determined.

In 1967, I won a silver dollar. It was a very exciting prize for a seven-year-old!

To enter the contest, I had to colour-in a Smartie on a black and white picture inside the Smarties box and mail in the box. It was only by watching a tv ad, where an identical picture briefly lit-up the “correct” Smartie, that you knew which one to colour.

It was one of the many silly Centennial Year events held in 1967–most of which had only a very tenuous connection to 1867. (Ask me sometime about the town pajama parade.) But it was a memorable win for me.

Why? Because it was the first and last time I won a prize.

For decades, I believed that I have terrible luck. 

But the truth is, I never entered.

And, you have to enter to win. It’s simple.

My question for you is, which of your life goals are you missing because you just don’t enter?

• If you never start training, you won’t complete a 5K run.
• Procrastinating on putting cash into a vacation savings account, means you’ll never make that big trip to Paris or Machu Picchu.
• Prioritizing everything but professional development, means you may not have the skills needed for that promotion.

The cost to you of staying on the sidelines are missed opportunities and unrealized potential.

Why do we do this? Self-sabotage.

Negative inner voices can stop you from putting yourself forward, from taking action, and from reaching your goals. You might think they are keeping you safe but in fact, they are keeping you small, invisible, and disappointed.

Those saboteurs come in many styles and flavours but they all seed self-doubt.

• Avoider saboteur tells you to put off taking steps to achieve your goals
• Pleaser saboteur says you’ll hurt your relationships if you prioritize your wishes
• Stickler saboteur demands perfection and this prevents you from taking imperfect action
• Hyper-vigilant saboteur has you imagine 101 things that could go wrong if you take steps to make your dreams come true.

Self-sabotage is a mental and emotional barrier to reaching your goals.

Here are a couple of tools that will help you quiet self-sabotage and to feel more confident and self-assured.

• Visualize what success and positive outcomes look like to you. Close your eyes and imagine yourself accepting an award for exceptional work, crossing a finish line with hands in the air, or cuddling with grandchildren or rescue pups.
• Focus your time and attention on what is truly important to you from a long-term perspective. The environment, your family, a legacy project? Schedule regular time in your day or week to make consistent progress.
• Celebrate your achievements, no matter how small. (I made my bed today, high five me!) Train your brain to expect and enjoy success.

I work with women nonprofit executives to help them recognize and intercept self-sabotaging messages and to replace them with habits of mind that cultivate the self-confidence they need to realize their goals.

Through Mental Fitness coaching with me, you’ll learn accessible practices and tools that support you in relieving self-sabotage, identifying your career and personal goals, and taking concrete actions that put you on the path to success. You’ll enter to win!

If you are curious about the benefits of Mental Fitness, how it works, or if coaching is for you, I’d love to connect.

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